This obsession with figuring out our lives has consumed all our minds. Everyone walks around with the presumptuous attitude, asking questions like,
“What are YOU going to do with your life?”
But the thing is, people only ask that question to one up their own pursuit. They’re so insecure of their own decisions that they need to interrogate you for your lack of direction. Some of us can fake it better than others, but its like without that support of knowing where you’re going, no-one really believes you can make it.
Its this need for a plan. The plans means reassurance that we won’t fail. That we won’t end up like our miserable parents or our siblings with no direction. The thing we won’t admit is, all of this nonsense is just to divert everyone from the fact that we’re scared. We’re shitting our pants in thinking about being alone and starting all over again.
One of my favourite motivational leaders, Iyanla Vanzant, said something truly profound in a conversation between her and Oprah. She said, when we enter a new situation, something unfamiliar, all of the issues that we haven’t confronted come rushing to the surface. She must have been talking about relationships, but I think this has everything to do with our lives as teenagers. High school is this bubble of comfort, we’re invincible and indestructible. No matter what we do, we can’t be touched, can’t be affected. But without that army, that shied, who would we even be? So, we push it back and charge forward in our fearless youth, unapologetic to our own blind faith. And we bound together by this burning fire in all of us, wanting to be everything and anything that we can.
So, ditch the plan. I’m not saying don’t have goals, but if we were all honest with each other, none of us have a clue about where our life will go. And that mystery is the most exhilarating part, so don’t let everyone else’s fear kill that desire. That desire to love deeply and drink in all the knowledge you can. And putting yourself in the box of everyone else that can’t for the life of them have one interesting conversation without involving the bleak realization of a lifetime of bills and regrets is a waste of your time.
Because you are so much more than the all of those things. You are so much more than the plan or the money. You are impulsive and beautiful, broken and scared, stupid and naive, all somehow blended together. And why the hell are you ashamed of your fear? Because people are telling you that the odds are against you, that what your doing doesn’t make sense? Whatever the case is, that fear is your strength. That strength to annihilate all the walls in your way. And fuck those who think otherwise.